Mindfulness
Keeping one’s consciousness alive to present reality (Thich Nhat Hanh, 1975)
He writes ‘while I am washing the dishes, already I am thinking about the cup of tea I am having next – and so I loose my present reality’
It is a practice that has been much discussed in recent years in many ways. There is so much information now about mindfulness it is in danger of loosing its value in sea of misinformation and conflicting advice.
Mindfulness is often lumped together with meditation, I think because we love a plan. Structuring our time, ticking the jobs off the list. Laundry, email, exercise. Ten minutes mindfulness meditation
Tick
Done
And there is nothing wrong with that. Practice is important, especially when we are new to something or there is some reason why this is challenging. It is so much more than that though and, in many ways, much easier.
Because of the association with meditation I think mindfulness is often confused with a zen like state of calm.
As Thich Nat Hanh says, it is an attitude, a stance, a way of being in the world. To practice mindfulness we simply need to pause and notice: Where is my attention right now? And then get curious about this. Right now my attention is focused on writing -but not entirely. When I really pay attention I notice my bum is a bit uncomfortable on my seat and I’m holding my breath a little -why?
Because I have a million things to do this morning and my attention is slightly on getting this finished so I can do the next thing. So not wholly here then.
Now I’ve noticed that I can intentionally slow breathe, refocus. Get more comfortable.
Slowly, over time, that becomes a habit, a way of being.
It can be powerful.
For some of us however the present moment is intolerable. Staying here and now and noticing what is going on in our bodies, or our thinking is not an ok place to be.
Grief is a good example of this. The present moment is filled with absence, everything a reminder of the reality of the loss.
When we have been traumatised connecting with the present moment can be terrifying and elicits the opposite of the intended outcome. Rather than grounding us and helping us to slow and take action, it can catapult us into feelings of not being safe. Dissociating from the here and now is an important defence mechanism which needs slow and gentle readjustment.
Neurodiversity is also a challenge to mindfulness. Sensory overwhelm is a significant challenge for those of us with neurodiverse brains. So much is going on in the here and now that noticing seems impossible and only increases the overwhelm.
If this is true, stay compassionate and curious with yourself.
Try some things, what helps your jaw relax, your shoulders unfurl, your toes uncurl…and what happens then? If your jaw relaxes do you then feel better or worse? Why?
Can you pause right now and notice
Over time this practice becomes a way of living intentionally and a way of staying in an OK life position. If that isn’t what happens for you stay compassionate with yourself and get curious, the point of this is not a zen like state of calm but get information, so we can then take action to support ourselves.